July 2, 2007
Thoughts on original Questions (1st Half of Questions)
Why does a person “need” an addiction? What for? What is the benefit of having it?
Thoughts: It fills in/substitutes for something that is lacking in their lives.
What fear is associated with losing it or not having it ever-present in their lives?
Thoughts: Fear of returning to that “emptiness”
Is it the fear of losing it like the fear of a death?
Thoughts: I don’t think so.
Look up studies on stress
Thoughts: Look up coping mechanisms
Decision/Choice
Thoughts:
re: initial choice, then automaton “automatic choosing.”
At what point does it not become a conscious choice anymore?
Re: Chemical response automatically says “yes.”
Not enough energy to say “no.”
Look Up: how to collect energy
Is there any way to enhance that automatic protective mechanism that say “stay away”
re: flight/fight response.
Re: intention, “Warped” intention
What compels a person to make a change?
Thoughts:
re: Laws of Motion
re: common sense - is it overruled?
Ex. People know they shouldn’t smoke...but they do
re: Law of Attraction
Attraction - lure
Consequences
Pros/Cons
Sensibility/Rationality
benefit of moment vs. Long term benefit
Why does benefit of the moment win over long term benefit?
Sacrifice in moment
Rationalizing - it’ll be okay, it won’t happen to me > That’s where begin to function in a “dream” reality
Modified
“Abnormal”
What part of the brain makes decisions?
Look up: free radicals
damage to that part of the brain
options in the matrix
ex.
Lifeline Option 1 lifeline _________ = Specific results/end
__________________/ (face challenge “obstacle”)
\
Option 2 lifeline ________ = Specific results/end
(avoid challenge “obstacle”)
Lifeline with
Option 2 selected Option 3 lifeline _________ = lifts you out
__________________/ (face challenge “obstacle”)
\
Option 4 lifeline _________ = pulls you deeper into it
(avoid challenge “obstacle”)
This “choice” diagram continues on in this fashion until the person is completely lifted out of the addiction or hits rock bottom. Of course just because the person chooses to face the obstacle once doesn’t mean that the next choice will be to face it further, if the choice made at the next juncture is to avoid it then the cycle begins over again.
Eventually the options selected lead to one of these two results:
1. Lifted out of the addiction.
2. Hit rock bottom - and generally this is when the person will begin to face the challenge "obstacle."
Which means even if rock bottom is hit there is always a door of escape. Therefore, the difference is that one path gets you there sooner and hence with less suffering.
Example: Choose your own ending stories - the choices you make while reading lead you to a specific ending.
What leans us towards one over the other?
Ex. When you realize it’s overwhelming your life - you can’t continue to live like this
Thoughts: What’s the difference between “won’t” and “can’t” continue to live like this?
What makes someone enter into a destructive behavior?
Thoughts: It ends up worse than the original thing they were trying to “escape” from
Look Up: Escapism
re: Escapism - this is how it starts - by trying to escape from the painful thing you’re confronted with. What happens if you just confront it instead? Re: using energy rightly. Is the effort/attempt enough to give you enough energy to combat escapism? Re: persistence in the face of adversity
What makes one person persist where another would just “give up” or “give in” (to temptation) - what is tempting about it? Not having to think about it - because it is stressful to think about - re: Putting it off/delaying it.
Stress coping mechanisms - What allows one person to cope better than another? What factors? i.e. physiology, psychology, environment, etc.
Is there a list of stress categories/scenarios?
And which are people able to cope with?
Re: personality types (ex. ENFP, type A, etc)
Hypothetical ex. Type A can cope with death.
How much of a role does belief play in sustaining the addiction?
Thoughts:
Belief that doing it will ease your pain/bring peace of mind
The more you do it, the better you’ll feel - where does this idea come from?
Or is it - the more you do it the less time you have to think about the thing you’re trying not to think about
How does the line of moderation get crossed? Is it consciously crossed? Or does it happen “gradually” and so it is not noticed right away? If that is the case, then what brings it to a person’s attention that they’re doing more of it than they should be doing? A desperate act - having to do it when it is definitely not the appropriate time would be one way a person would notice it has a greater hold on them than they’d like/or had noticed. What if the person qualifies doing it at any time?
Feeling: “I can’t live without this/doing this”
What causes a person to thrive on a painful activity?
Thoughts: Maybe it’s the same sorta chemical reaction - release of endorphins - start to rely on it -
ex. Just as a person who has a dip in energy mid-afternoon might rely on a candy bar or caffeine for a boost of energy.
If your body knows it will get something out of it, it may desire it. Re: physical body’s response to certain stimuli - sensation to alert you to do or not do something when it is in range of occuring.
What is the mind-body connection in relation to the persistence of it and to the release of it?
Re: as above so below
Re: Expectations
How much of a role does the conscious thinker have in the activity?
Thoughts:
Well the person is aware of what they’re doing - ex. That they’re picking up a pack of smokes.
But how conscious are the actual activity itself? Ex. An overeater - grabs a bag of chips and plops on the couch - how much are they registering when they’re eating an entire back of chips? What does the repetition of the activity have to do with the numbing effect desired? That’s interesting numbing you to the sensations of the pain invoked by the thing that you’re avoiding.
Does creation/creativity play any role in an addictive activity? And can it even?
What bearing does the awareness of knowing that the activity is destructive have on the ultimate seperation/release from the activity?
Thoughts:
It would seem that it would have some impact on the overall decision to make a change - but how much might be relative to each person/case.
What’s the difference between awareness and understanding in reference to the knowledge of an activity being destructive?
Aware it is destructive = on the periphery
Understand it is destructive = an understanding of the scope of it possibly
re: Scientific Method
What makes this understanding become a reality to the person?
Re: belief, perception
Thoughts:
re: compassion - for the effect(s) it is having on someone they love
But what if the desire to do it is stronger than the compassion?
Then there would be a guilt in the activity. The guilt of knowing what you’re doing is negatively affecting someone you care about. If you were raised in a guilt ridded environment then it might be twice as hard for you to break the addiction as there is a second obstacle to overcome - the built in expectation that you are supposed to feel/be guilty - therefore as long as you continue with the addiction activity that propagates guilt then everything is in it’s “right” order as prescribed by the conditions which you “perceive” as normal/expected/correct.
Is “understanding” the scope of the addiction enough to “inspire” a change?
Even if a person has all the facts at their disposal doesn’t necessarily mean they will make the most rational decision. It just means they are consciously choosing to self-destruct if they continue with the addiction.
What if a person is given all the facts but fearful of “losing” something (i.e. losing the addiction) chooses to say those facts are not true? That’s when a deeper illusion sets in - to know the facts but choose to say they are not true means you are willing to convince yourself of “false” facts to replace the actual facts. This could lead to a psychological seperation from reality - where a false reality which you create takes the place of actual reality in your mind and thus in your perception of everything. What if you have constant reminders of the truth? Then you’d have to silence them or ignore them because you can’t have two realities co-existing. Yours has to rule.
How key is an accurate understanding/perception in releasing the person from the debilitating activity?
Thoughts: It would play a part but I’m not sure how much. Maybe it depends on the level of sensibility/rationality of the person - if a person is generally rational then it might play a key part in their decision to make a change/break the addiction. Is there a tendency for people who are prone to addictions to be less level-headed than those that are not? Re: left brain/right brain users
What are the reaches of a release in outward effects as well as inward “effects”?
Thoughts: Exponential. Why? Re: Law of Attraction - what we do definitely affects all whom we come into contact with. Ex. If our attitude is one of peace/happiness/love/caring - it will draw that out in those whom we example smile at, listen to, etc. re: Movie: “Pay it Forward” kindness passed on leads to kindness passed on.
How come being told about the benefits of life without that destructive activity doesn’t automatically get a person to make a change?
Thoughts:
1. The rhythm is built in to do that activity - so that has to be broken
2. The benefits of not doing it are generally not apeopleicable in the moment, and therefore may not be as appealing as the benefits of doing it now
3. There is a chemical addiction to it that is built in as well that has to be overcome (ex. Adrenelin)
4. The belief that continuing to do the activity really won’t be destructive to you personally (yeah it may have affected others but they are not you and you feel fine right now)
5. Resistance to being told you are doing something “wrong” - defending what you are doing. No one likes to admit they are wrong right off the bat.
6. Rationalizing that the “definitive” benefits outweigh the “possible” cons
7. Not knowing where/how to begin to break the addiction.
8. Don’t have enough energy or will-power to tackle it.
9. Don’t have an actual concept of the devastating effects of it.
10. Don’t want to admit you’re wrong/did something wrong.
11. It’s too good to give up
12. Think you have to go cold turkey and feel like you can’t do that.
13. You have tried to quit before but it didn’t work - hope-less
14. Low self-esteem/pessimistic attitude - I can’t do it
15. Lack of outer support system - family, friends, groups, etc.
16. Lack of inner support system - self-motivation, goals, etc.
Why would a person not recognize a destructive activity as destructive?
Re: comfort/pleasure that is received out of it > re: an abused person
Thoughts:
Because even if it has destructive elements they may not be “obvious” especially if they have at all entered an altered reality/perception.
If the destructive elements were not known at the onset the comfort level with it has now surpassed the negative aspects - if they are present the person has already developed a coping method for/with them and so may not truly see them as “destructive/debilitating”
Why is it pleasurable to be hurt?
(If they don’t recognize it as being hurt/pain then this would not make sense/register at all)
Over time even things people “normally” would not want/allow will permit based on other factors - ex. A person who is abused doesn’t start off thinking it’s okay and probably resisted it at first - so what happens over time to change their mind set?
Ex. Verbal abuse - if a couple argues constantly and becomes comfortable in that role then anything outside of “that norm” to them is not normal. Hmm.
So the pleasure isn’t necessarily gained out of being hurt but out of the comfort of knowing you can count on/rely on a specific behavior pattern/reaction.
I am not being hurt
I am not in pain
I am not suffering
I am fine
Nothing is wrong
Everything is fine/perfect even/better than you’re describing it/let me convince you of that FACT!
So if it is considered to be a fact in their mind that “all is well”
then how can their perception be altered to reveal the truth of the matter?
If they could backtrack to a point in time when that was not normal for them would that jolt their consciousness back into some semblance of reality? Maybe not, maybe they would need something more “impactful”
Why is it that a person who is in a specific destructive cycle of activity can clearly see the problem as another person displays it but does not correlate it to themselves at all?
Does this have to do with the belief that what is happening to that person has nothing to do with me personally? There’s nothing at stake for me. Nothing to lose. Nothing to fear. Nothing to face.
What does matter/material have to do with the construction of a negative/destructive pattern of behavior?
We built it in - how?
Re: repetition - re: becoming easier, becoming routine, becoming a “way of life,” until reaches a point where there is no seperateness from it - only complete idenitification with it.
What about people who thrive on structure/routine? If that is taken away they crumble or rather feel like they will crumble. Total reliance/dependence on it. Of course they can adapt - it’s the strong belief that they can’t that keeps them stuck where they are. There will be no changing it until they are forced by some other force (not by self).
Thoughts:
We build in a response in the atoms of our physical, emotional, and mental states.
Re: De-construct > unbuilding something that was built
re: Reconstruction > starting over from scratch
In police terminology they say “reconstructing” the crime. Trying to figure out from clues what happened at a specific moment in time. Re: triggers
re: Motive - ex. A lot of times the motive is to get love/attention
Re: convincing/total conviction > look up definitions of those words
The thing is anyone who is not an enabler or also impaired by an altered reality will see the real reality and therefore may be quick to point it out to the person they care about whom they see suffering. When that happens the “sufferer” must convince them of their reality - of course that’s not likely to happen if the person is clear-minded - hence conflict/tension will appear even if the people have been extremely close for their entire life. The person will hold onto their reality as if holding on for dear life itself. Even if that means dissolving relationships they have held as highly important in their lives. There will be no disturbing “dis-rupting” - ejection from the fantasy life even for a moment - because it is truly frightening for the person who has lived in it for so long. To be ejected from it means they would have to reevaluate their whole life and that’s a hell of a lot of work and frankly they have no interest in doing that especially since if they just forget (choose to obliterate it from their consciousness) that ejection and return to the sanctity and protection of their altered reality everything “will be fine” again.
